Sunday, 23 December 2012

When the Round Round Robin Comes Bob-Bob-Bobbing Along!

You know those awful self-indulgent and ego driven round robin letters that you get around this time of year? Don't you just hate them?

If these people wanted their everyday tedium to be read they could take to Twitter.

@anyonewhoisbotheredto read Taking the dog to be waxed today. Using the fur in a pin cushion. LOL!

Here is my take on the phenomenon!


Dear All!

Has it really been an entire circuit of the Sun since we last heard from each other! 'Tempus fugit' as the Ancient Romans would have said!

What a year it has been! Our eldest, Persephone, has sat her GCSEs and has come out with 15 A* grades! Lithuanian, Macrame, Astrology and Herbalism will stand her in excellent stead for the future. All of Horatio's mother's doubts about taking the wrong baby home from the hospital are truly dispelled now. I think we can plan our retirement based on those grades, though she needs to get through college first.

She brought her first proper boyfriend home too. 'This is Wombat!' she announced proudly. It is difficult to inform you of his hopes, as most communication appears to be grunted or garbled through slurps of Super Lager. Wombat does seem a little pretentious as a name, don't you think?

The twins, Araminta and Taramasalata, continue to thrive. 'Lively and unpredictable' it said in their school reports. Really those could have been their middle names (actually they're Tamarind and Tarquin) Being called into the Head's office to discuss them was the highlight of the academic year. Creative use of felt pens and paints on the plaster in the conveniences suggest we may have the successors to Banksie on our hands! So proud!

Spartacus is finally potty trained and almost off the breast, just in time for the Reception Class Nativity performance.  A triumphant performance ensued, and he was certainly the best dressed shepherd, in Jocasta's kimono pyjamas and a Pashmina headdress. His control over the giraffe was awesome!

Imagine Horatio's surprise when Jocasta expressed a desire for a Brazilian downstairs! Imagine Jocasta's reaction at Horatio's misunderstanding! For the last two months the Dos Santos twins have been living in the old granny-flat. Esmerelda doubles as a Nanny to Spartacus and works literally for peanuts. Stefano is on the Chelsea F.C.  Youth Team, and all his expenses are fully paid by the club. In fact burly and rough-hewn Russian gentlemen deliver manila envelopes of cash at strange hours of the night!

The twins had their wish for for a pair of Puggles granted in the Spring. Regular walks on the Heath are interrupted only by cries of 'Vajazzle! Prince Albert!'. Old Mr Pietowski had a shock though when he asked Jocasta to see her lovely Vajazzle. Still his injuries soon healed and the court action will expire with his repatriation!

We had an enjoyable four weeks in the Tuscan Villa over the Summer. The roof finally went on at the end of August, and the running water will be connected next year. Seven years hard work are well worth it, and the children now have a truly rustic experience to add to their life stories. The external latrine provided genuine close family time and the Roman experience of a sponge soaked in vinegar will 'stick' in the memory, as well as 'stick' (literally) in one or two other places! Oh how we laughed!

Work still goes well. Jocasta's business has expanded in to the full range of lentil based products, and Horatio has survived all the financial crises that have come the bank's way. Being  in charge means he can literally 'Pass the Buck!'.

Well that's us for the year! Don't forget you can get in touch with us at at any time.

Toodlepip! Ciao!

Jocasta, Horatio, Persephone (& Wombat), Araminta, Taramasalata & Spartacus

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